When The District first appeared on television in October of 2000, it sent shockwaves throughout a reeling nation. The shows pilot was one of the most eagerly anticipated events in recent memory, it being the much-awaited comeback of Craig T Nelson, as well as that black girl from Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego. Nelson had been in seclusion for years. Most figured he was distraught over the abysmal performance of the Orlando Breakers. However, unbeknownst to his fans, Nelson was embarking on a spiritual voyage of self-discovery and personal redemption. Nelson was his own worst critic, and held himself personally responsible for the cancellation of Coach. He feels he let the American people down, and he wanted to make it up to them, but he didnt know how. Like any other intelligent observer, Nelson realized the sorry state that American society was in. However, unlike most, Nelson had the power to make a difference, and he knew it. He just didnt know how he wanted to go about it. He briefly entertained coaching offers from various NFL franchises and top-notch college programs, but decided he was done with football. It was time for him to move on. Nelson was a man looking for a cause, but he didnt realize the horrible price hed have to pay to find it.
The day was August 13, 1999. Nelson was in Washington, lobbying for increased aid to third-world countries. After making his case to President Clinton and other top-ranking Washington officials, Nelson decided to make his way back to his hotel. It was a nice night, so instead of taking a cab, he decided that hed walk instead, he figured itd be nice to get some exercise. However, as he slowly walked across town, Nelson ended up finding himself in an unfamiliar part of the city. He stopped for a second and briefly considered turning around, but ultimately decided against it. He had plenty of faith in mankind, and decided that if he just stayed out of everyones way, theyd stay out of his. So Nelson kept his head down, and began to walk at somewhat of a brisk pace, working up a bit of a sweat. However, just as he was about to reach the hotel, the unthinkable happened.
Craig T Nelson was attacked by robots.
The robots emerged from a dark alley and immediately surrounded the terrified Nelson. One of them stepped forward and told him we havent seen you round here before in a thick Russian accent. Nelson had always been a firm believer in non-violent resistance, ever since his days marching with Martin Luther King, Jr. in the civil right demonstrations of the 1960s. So he wasnt going to let these robots get to him. If you excuse me, I just want to get back to my hotel. Thank you he said as he began to make his way through the gang of computer-operated thugs. The robots took great offense to this blatant lack of respect. Seeing as it was a particularly dark night, the robots were completely unaware that their victim was Sir Craig T Nelson. And so they did something that they would soon regret, an act so heinous that the subsequent guilt would lead them to self-destruction; they went after Coach. The robots began beeping frantically and soon launched some kind of projectile square at Nelsons head. He hit the ground immediately, and was able to avoid the object. However, the robots had him right where they wanted him. The robots slowly converged on him, and then everything went black.
Nelson awoke in the hospital the next day, in an excruciating amount of pain. The doctors told him that he was lucky to still be alive. He had several broken bones as well as a punctured lung. The robots even took his wallet, along with his wedding ring. Nelson was distraught. He had always felt safe walking the streets at night, but now all his preconceptions were altered. Had America really gotten this bad? Whatever happened to good old-fashioned law and order? Nelson hadnt served a tour of duty in Vietnam to see his country destroyed from within. He had finally found the reason God put him on earth: to make America safe again. But how?
After a month or two of recovery, Nelson left the hospital with a renewed sense of purpose. He immediately began a tireless crusade to crack down on crime within the neighborhood he was attacked, to help ensure that nothing like that would never happen again. He asked local citizens if they knew anything about the crimes that took place there regularly. He was bewildered by the citizens refusal to cooperate. He could tell they wanted to help, but he sensed a genuine fear of the repercussions of doing so. It didnt take a genius to figure out that the gangs and the thugs were in charge of this neighborhood. Only now did Nelson realize the enormity of the situation. It was going to take more than some amateur detective work to cure the nation of its many ills. If Nelson wanted to make any serious changes, he was going to have to turn to the most influential medium in America: television.
Nelson immediately phoned CBS. There was still some animosity between him and ABC over the cancellation of Coach, and CBS had a better track record of airing more socially-conscious programming (ie: Becker). Naturally, CBS jumped at the opportunity to air a program starring Nelson, but they were quite surprised by the fact that he wanted to make a crime drama. Its easy to forget in this post-District world, but at that point in time, most Americans equated Craig T Nelson with comic hi-jinx. The concept of Nelson as a police chief would be hard for most Americans to swallow, and some felt that the new Nelson could be a psychologically-jarring experience for most Hayden Foxx-loving Americans. CBS executives tried to get him to alter the show to a more fan-friendly format, trying to get him to sign on Luther and Dawber for the project. At one point, they even asked if he was willing to alter the plot so that he could investigate only football-related crimes. Nelson, however refused to compromise his artistic vision, and the network ultimately gave in. Nelson had brought his dream to the realm of television, but his struggles were far from over.
CBS wanted to air his show on Wednesday nights, usually the prime night for crime dramas. However, Nelson would have none of that. If this show was going to truly help lower crime and make the streets safe again, it would have to be aired during the most lawless and crime-ridden time of the week: Saturday night. Saturday night TV was generally known for its low ratings, but Nelson didnt care; in his heart he knew that he didnt have to come to the viewers, because the viewers would come to him. CBS programmers werent so sure, a few even privately doubted whether or not Nelson could carry a drama. They knew Nelson was an undisputable comic genius, but would this gift for comedy carry over onto The District? Some thought that people wouldnt be able to take him seriously. However, this would soon change.
On a rainy Saturday afternoon, Nelson was out doing some errands. After getting some groceries, he stopped at the bank. As soon as he entered the store, the tellers and customers immediately broke out into a spontaneous applause. Nelson lived up to his reputation as The Peoples Coach by graciously accepting their applause, and greeting all his well-wishers. After 20-30 minutes the bank finally settled down, and everyone went back to their affairs, including Nelson. He only wanted to make a small deposit . . .but this deposit ended up being a lot more than he bargained for. He noticed the man next to him pull a knife on his teller. He was looking to make a large withdrawal of cash, but the only withdrawal he ended up getting was a withdrawal . . .of blood. Nelson, drawing upon his experience as a Green Beret, snuck up behind the man, seized his knife, and plunged it through his heart killing him instantly. Craig T Nelson averted disaster for the first of several times . . .again.
Nelson went from funnyman to hero overnight. What remaining doubts CBS had about Nelson in a drama disappeared instantly. The deal was finalized, and The District was set to appear Saturday nights at 9, starting in the fall of 2000. Production of the show began over the summer, and executives marveled at the new Nelson. The Nelson portraying Jack Mannion was much more intense and driven than the Nelson portraying Hayden Foxx. While on the set of Coach Nelson would often joke around and goof off in between takes, Nelson took this new show much more seriously. Nelson wanted to ensure the show was as perfect as possible; nothing less than the future of American society was at stake. After much hard work by Mr. Nelson and the rest of the cast of The District was set to premiere, and premiere it did.
The impact of the shows debut was greater than anyone (except perhaps Mr. Nelson) could have ever expected. The series premiere of The District was the highest-rated program in TV history, and the critical acclaim was overwhelming. After a decade of OJ Simpsons, Tanya Hardings, Bill Clintons, and Johnnie Cochrans, along came Jack Mannion to make a nation forget about the past 10 years, to help a nation respect the law again. TV Guide called Jack Mannion a A Moses for the new millennium, handing down Gods law to a nation of riveted TV viewers. The critics were obviously blown away. The one thing no one couldve expected however, was the shows ability strike a particular chord with criminals. Within hours after the end of the first episode, hundreds of viewers had turned themselves in for various unsolved crimes; some out of respect for Jack Mannion, and some out of fear.
Fast forward two years later. While its spectacular debut only made expectations for the rest of the show that much higher, the show has done a remarkable job of remaining fresh and relevant. Only in its third season The District, has already established itself as one of the most influential shows in television history. The crime rate in this country has been lowered by roughly 40% since the shows initial airing, and most experts attribute this single-handedly to the crafty police work of Jack Mannion. However, Craig T Nelson insists his work is far from over.
Regardless of what the future holds for The District, it has already ensured Craig T Nelsons place in the pantheon of historys most influential leaders. Institutions across the country are finally beginning to give Nelson the recognition he has deserved for so long. President George W Bush recently awarded Mr. Nelson the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest honor that can be bestowed upon a civilian. Soon after Harvard Law School laid down the ground works for a course called Craig T Nelson and the US Legal System in the 21st Century, while Columbia University has achieved a record number of enrollments for their new course entitled From Socrates To Nelson: A Look at the Progress and Evolution of Western Thought. Through all that hes accomplished and all hes changed, its clear that Craig T Nelson can officially add American Hero to his long list of achievements.
While Nelsons fame has reached record heights, he insists he is far from content in his current position. As long as there are criminals on the street and pinko liberals fighting to protect them, Jack Mannion wont give up his crusade he says. Although he acknowledges the brilliance of Coach, Nelson quickly admits that The District is by far the achievement that has made him the most proud. Nelson boasts that Coach will always hold a special place in my heart, but it mostly just served for a good laugh; The District has always served a greater purpose than that. Incidentally, the robots that caused all this are still at large. Nelson admits he still thinks about that day, but in the end he feels it made him a better person. He refuses to let one small pocket of robotic punks to take away from all the positive things hes done. Well, Jesus had the Jews, so I suppose its only fair that I have the robots, jokes Nelson, displaying his knack for the anti-Semitic humor that made Coach such a huge success. On that night, the world almost lost Craig T Nelson; instead, they gained one of mankinds greatest achievements, The District.
Many claim that there are no heroes anymore; perhaps these people should tune into CBS Saturdays at 9, the show that embodies everything that makes up a hero.
